The Dreamer

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Empower Womyn, Imigination, My Internal Life, New Millennium Poetry, Spiritual Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Wake from the Illusion that you 

Have power over me.

Wake the Dreamer 

Who has been fast asleep.

Open your Heart to the manipulation

And it’s toll on the body.

You lie awake at night

Plotting the takeover.

As you sleep the demons

Take hold if your Mind and Soul.

What you would never 

Do in the light

Under the cloak of darkness 

You strike.

Because I can see you for 

Who you are!

I know where 

The blow comes from.

A wounded heart

Strikes,

Plunging you deeper 

Into madness.

Empowered Woman Module III

A Seven Step Inner Transformation, Empower Womyn, My Internal Life

Part 3

Living with a Wounded Mind

Humans are born healthy both mentally and physically. Around three or four is when the first wounds in the emotional body start to appear and poison the human body. If you observe children, they play, laugh, and are happy all the time. When something happens, they react and move on. They live in the moment. As children, we are innocent and not afraid to love. However, what has happened to all of us?

The fear of not being worthy of love became a fear that lived in me. I rejected others before they rejected me. The anxiety of not being good enough was the dream I projected to the world. And consequently, this is how others treated me.

We project the image that society wants us to be. This projection begins the pretending. We learn to pretend to be what we are not and practice being what others want to feel.

All humans are mentally sick. We live in a world, akin to a mental hospital. Because we live in the world, the mind is sick with fear. This fear fills the emotional body until the pain becomes unbearable. Someone says a word and it hurts and you retaliate.

There is jealousy, hate, and discrimination. Soon the mind cannot cope with the mental illness, so it begins to break down. The result is schizophrenia, paranoia, psychosis. This mental breakdown causes diseases when we are so frightened, and the wounds are so painful that it is better to break contact with the outside world.

I felt victimized by the men in life. A situation happened when I was about seventeen. One night I was in the car with my daughter’s father. He was physically abusive. We were in the middle of a fight. I feigned I was out of it. I think I consciously left my body because I did not want to face the physical pain. I played possum. He ran inside to get my mother. I believe he was genuinely concerned for me. My mother opened the car door and called my name. I did not answer. I got out of the car and walked into the house. I do not think I came back to my body. I just lived in a shell.

That night I left my body and consequently, I never showed up in a relationship as an authentic person. Each relationship that ended my anger and rage grew strong until it was so strong that it began to break down my body.

I lived in constant fear of being hurt both emotionally and physical, so I created a wall around my heart and would not let anyone see the real me the one who was afraid. On the outside, I appeared strong. I did not let my emotions show. I joined the military to prove my strength. I made the maximum score which was three hundred on the Physical Training (PT) part of Army Basic Camp.

Empowered Woman Module III Nonfeance

A Seven Step Inner Transformation, My Internal Life, Spiritual Awakening, The Great Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Part 2

A Quest for Understanding

1982 began my quest to understand my life and the world in which I lived. I journeyed to Paris, Hawaii, Virginia and Washington D.C. and back to the inner realm of my life. Life was a mystery that I wanted to unravel. My mind is an inquisitive nature that seeks to understand.

The biggest discovery thusfar has been the power of the human mind to reconstruct life. I am a student of Psychology and just recently Buddhist Psychology, which explains the nature of the mind. I have come to believe that the Mind contains all the knowledge of all time. It is like a reservoir.

We as humans have created the internet to resemble this mind. At any time, I can pose a question, and have it answered. All the information I may need is at my fingertips.

There was this gnawing feeling inside of me. I wondered why I acted the way I did. A Psychology class opened the window to my mind and heart, and I found a lacking. A lacking for love and a lacking for genuine relationships which caused me to seek out attention in unhealthy ways.

I identified with the problems in my life. Was I crazy? I wondered what was wrong with me. I tried to uncover the source of my suffering. I did not know what it was, so I invented something. I was depressed. I had Anxiety. I had Anger Issue. There were many negative labels I attached to myself because I did not know who I was. Thirty years later that quest has led me to the internet and the boundless array of information that I can consume and quench my thirst for understanding.

Uncovering a Big Secret

There was a big secret, and I wanted to find out what it was. The secret lay buried in my life. It was the secret about who I was and what I was here to do. I saw glimpses of a life I desired. The images seeped out into my daily life. I was confused and held self-doubt about what I was capable of. I did not fully believe in myself and consequently I lived in fear and self-doubt.

I was a Black Woman in a male, white Christian society. When I looked in the mirror, a Black Woman was the reflection I saw. I must be wrong if they were right, so there must have been something wrong with me.

That Black Woman, who one Summer decided to sign up for Army R.O.T.C. to prove her worth. If I could do what the white man did, I must be as good as him. I watched one supervisor at work and figured if I dressed like him then I would be a part of the work environment. It did not work; management terminated me from this job. I was a loner, a thinker and a reader, who tried to find out who and what she was.

Empowered Woman Part III Nonfeance

A Seven Step Inner Transformation, Empower Womyn, Healing Arts, My Internal Life, Spiritual Awakening

NON-FEANCE

Non-Feance is Failure in doing; especially that which is essential for Happiness & Emotional Well-Being.

“If you bring forth what is within you,”

“What is within you will save you.”

“If you do not bring forth what is within,”

“What is within you will destroy you.”

My Young Life

My father always said, “obedience is better than sacrifice.” I never knew what he meant. But today I know that every one of us have come to earth to fulfill a mission and if we fail to satisfy it then our lives will experience unrest. It’s like living life aimlessly, going to work, coming home only to do it again without any significant purpose.

Most of my young life I lived under the protective arms of my father and mother. They took care of my basic needs. I learned to depend on them. I never questioned their intentions or the intents of the adults around me. I believed in the Bible and its’ teachings and the Church as the living embodiment of all that is good. I never thought much about my life. I just lived and followed the direction of the adults around me.

Growing up and going away to college brought freedom from the scrutiny of my parents. I started to feel as if something was not quite right. I enrolled at the local Community College and my eyes began to inquire into the meaning of God and Life.

In a Philosophy class, the college professor posed a question. He asked what would change your perspective about life. My answer was. What if there was no God? To be continued.

Coming Undone

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Chronicle the Black Woman's Rise, Healing Arts, My Internal Life, New Millennium Poetry, Spiritual Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Coming Undone

Under the pseudo identity

You cling to;

Just below the surface

Is an ocean of awareness.

It’s like swimming in the ocean

As a fish

At home in the sea.

Suddenly the world opens

All pretense fade away.

What is revealed 

Is a unmarked face.

A memory forgotten

A problem erased.

Your life has become

One with the sea.

No beginning,

No end

Just empty space.

Technology and Me

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Chronicle the Black Woman's Rise, Empower Womyn, My Internal Life, New Millennium Poetry, Spiritual Awakening, The Great Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Interfaced with Technology
I am at home on my computer.
Whether it be a smart phone or an iPad.
It is an extension of me.
My thoughts, my action and my words are stored somewhere in
Virtual Reality.
As if someone is watching me and sending all that
I think and write.
Some look at Facebook as snooping.
I look past the most obvious
Into my own Law of Attraction.
Everything I speak into existence
Show up in my world.
There is no boogie man creeping up behind me.
I make causes with my thoughts, actions and words.
Like a boomerang it comes back to me.
As I take it into my awareness
It becomes my experience.
No one can tell me how to relate.
If it causes me trepidation
I can just let it pass by.
Like watching a wave
Rise to a crescendo
Then fall back into the ocean floor.
We are moving beyond the obvious.
Seeing clearer and deeper into the ocean.
All the marvelous and wonderful creatures
Live deep in the Sea.

Fear and Freedom

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Imigination, My Internal Life, New Millennium Poetry, Spiritual Awakening, Womanist Leadership

Fear and Freedom,
Which path do you take?

Which reality do you create?

We have seen how Fear lives in the heart of man.
Through violence and war
It ravages the land and…
Lives in Secrecy.

Under the cloak of Religion.
Underneath the altar boy.
Secrets it tries to hide.

In this era of Transformation,
Secrets fly out the door.
Into the open
Where they can be seen.
Casting a doubt on fear.
Clearing the air for another reality.
Forged in bowels of society.

Truth breaks free into the Open Sky.
Hoovers over Humanity.
A thousand years of prosperity.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Quantum Physics: Explains The Creative Power of the Human

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Mindfulness Journal, My Internal Life, Spiritual Awakening, The Great Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

 

silhouette of person holding glass mason jar

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

When we think the world objectively exists independent of ourselves, we are distorting our image of the world, which is a process by which we can’t help but simultaneously distort our image of ourselves, because we are inescapably part of the world.

We can then easily remain unaware of the creative power within us wherein lies our potential gift to the world.

 

How can you tap into the creative force inside of you?

Imagine a force

that you can control.

with your thoughts

you remake yourself

into anything you choose.

your gift to the world is inside of you.

The W.E.N. Network is

the guiding impulse that believes

in the power of you.

together we can make this land

Heaven on earth.

Living Fully in The Moment

Chronicle the Black Woman's Rise, Mindfulness, Mindfulness Journal, My Internal Life, Spiritual Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Mindfulness Meditation helps you to grasp the totality of life. It helps you to understand the conditioned patterns, belief systems, and memory are not living, but dead moments already. It is the realization that true living can only be lived in a freedom that moves with the current of Creation — forever open to each moment teaming with new potential.