Mindfulness is Non-Reactive
Why do I need a retort to anything displeasing ? Why do I feel the need to defend? As I look further into the experience, I acknowledge that when a person attacks me I feel threatened and need to retaliate, as I do not want to appear weak and be the target of a person’s hate.
What could the person really say that would hurt me? Do I give my power over to the other and let her know where I am wounded and let her continue to pour salt into an open wound? Will it hurt more? What is hurting about the situation? Do I feel like a victim? Is this person victimizing me?
I look back into my history and I have felt victimized by people. Both by the words and physical violence. I recognize people can hurt me. This was an attitude that I had as a child. I did not have much power then, but now I do.
I look deeper and can see where the words came from and why the girl said those mean things. The girl told me she hated light-skinned girls with long hair. She slung her hate toward me. I look at her and see she is neither light-skinned nor do she have long hair. She is jealous and angry. It is her feelings. I do not own them. I let the comments go like a feather blowing in the wind.
There are many instances when we are the recipient of negative emotions. We can let the emotion spring up without reacting and watch it disappear. It is mindful attention that you become aware what is invisible in your experience and what may be the intentions of another.