#SUMMEROF2015

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Womanist Empowerment

#SUMMEROF2015

The #KillingofChurchHouse9 symbolized the fading of White Supremacy, Terror, and Hate, the three enemies of Black people’s happiness. When the killer unloaded his hate on Black Religious Life, it was like a cathartic effect freeing four centuries of terror holding my voice in silence.

I separated myself from the violence meant to terrorize the Black Race. A scheme that worked in the past but now has no effect. Fear, Hate and Terror ROSE to its pinnacle and now the DECLINE that had to come.

The #Summerof2015 saw the Killing of #ChurchHouse9 as they kneeled in prayer. They had opened their hearts and a stranger entered in. Spirit accepts anyone even if it is a lie.

This is all too familiar. When The Black Man closed his eyes, EVIL moved in disguise. Under the guise of religion Missionaries came to Africa, gave the Africans a God and promise of a better life, and stole their Natural Resources but told the Africans to wait.

I can recall the message was one of always waiting. What were the Black Race to wait for, a promise of something better? Only it never came. We can enjoy abundance both Spiritually and Materially right here today in our own Black skin.

Material wealth is only as valuable as the person who holds the purse. In the hands of Greed, it destroys, oppresses, and spread lies of little worth, lies of salvation after death, if only you believe.

What I do believe are we as a people have accepted empty promises that have no way of coming true. Look at the source and you will know.

#TheSummeof 2015 reminds me that after Great Evil, Great Good is sure to follow. We as Black People have lived through a Pretty Dark Night. Believe that the sun will Shine. It rises in your Heart.

#TheSummerof2015 exposed the ugliness of Terror, Fear and Hate. They no longer have any real Power. A lie only has power if you BELIEVE. Lies live in darkness, step into the Light.

Love is Light, Love will THRIVE, A Love that soothes doubts and fear. A love that brings joy and happiness. A love that lives and feeds the Hunger of the Soul.

I AM

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Seven Keys to Life

I AM…

The Universe passing through the life of a Black Woman; Her experience living inside Black skin. In the South, when an afro and roaming the Black neighborhood was the thing to do.

My life dived onto the neighborhood, to the corner store and down the street. Parties in basements, music blaring load, stealing kisses behind the cellar door.

Moved out of the projects into a brick home on a street lined with trees. The river flowed in our back yard. Picked up balls golfers hit on Shawnee Golf Course, sold them as golfers passed by.

Shawnee Park housed WLOU Summer Jams. A city tradition each summer that feed our community love. At sixteen, family life started to take a back seat to friends and hanging out.

Bused to a school across town with white girls. First time I had been out my neighborhood. The girls acted just like me. I do not know what the fuss was about. I felt like an outsider sitting in Geometry. The other black girl soon disappeared leaving me to fend for myself.

High school life became a living tragedy. I left in the middle of eleventh grade because the mother wanted me away from Frank. Came back my senior year, to the same school. Then suddenly, the counselor pulled me aside as my belly started to rise. She told me about a school for unwed mothers and off I departed. I graduated with my class but was not being invited to any parties. My little baby and Frank were the ones who greeted me.

The Branch’s, a modern day Family Clan became my new family after my parents split up. I was in the hospital twice, in a span of two years because of physical and mental abuse from Frank. My father’s second wife, Gloria saw me through the break-up when the physical and mental abuse was too much to bear.

Soon I started college looking for a better life. I found a love for learning, Philosophy and Psychology. It taught me amazing things.  I began this quest to absorb everything, as much as my brain could hold. I left formal education and self-education and the library became my new best friends.

I did not have a voice; I could not find the words to speak. I stuffed my emotions down deep and continued to live my life until it too was too much to bear. I gave up teaching, what I loved most, walked away from marriage to a man I thought I would always love and my faith practice of fifteen years.

I felt betrayed and cut off from society so all I could do was write. I wrote myself a new life, I wrote a past and future too. I wrote about sorrow, joy and happiness.  I wrote about the invisibility of being Black in America.

My life inverted in 2001, like a perfect storm. Words streamed out and I wrote poetry. First, was the downpour then slowly a stream when I learned of expertise?

Writing liberated the woman in me and healed my broken heart. I have come to realize. I am not this body, not this gender either, but the Universe in a drop of water. A small voice that became loud when realized it is the power of Love. I am on a mission to build a Culture of Healing that restores the minds and bodies of Black Girls.

RISE ABOVE FEAR

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, My Internal Life, Seven Keys to Life

This morning I lay in bed in a particular mood all too familiar to me. Only this time I had taken time before I rose to utilize a Mindfulness technique that I discovered. It is the fourth Key in the Seven Keys to Life.

The first step in mindfulness is to uncover what is unconscious in my experience. As I lay in bed, I acknowledged that something had triggered my moodiness.  I investigated by asking a few question about what made me feel that way.

I had realized the day before I made a decision to start a membership site after listening to a free webinar. I have been attracted to this idea of free information on the web. The topics interest me and have helped me in my search for purpose and meaning.

This was my pattern; Set a goal and work towards it until something else caught my attention and off I went. I recalled when I was in graduate school, I would go to school for the rest of my life If I could find a way to get paid. This set in motion the idea of learning.

I have been trapped in the world of learing. Seeking more and more information but could not not find a way to implement what I had been taught. Well anyway, I made a commitment to stay on the path of writing five hundred words a day towards completing a manuscript that will launch my Social, Emotional and Spiritual Development Program.

The second goal was to keep focused. Here I was again following the next shinny object that had captured my attention. This had been a pattern for the past few years. I have been unable to get traction towards completing anything.

I realized this pattern of living defeats my purpose of writing and obtaining my goals. It is no wonder I get moody. I had traversed off the path and away from my goal. The last step in the four stages is non-identification.

I observed what had caused my sulky attitude and decided to not get lost in the feeling and get off track. Soon I was back on the saddle ready to ride towards my destination. This time I did not let my moodiness deter me from striving toward my goals.

CHRONICLE THE RISE OF THE BLACK WOMAN

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, My Internal Life, Womanist Empowerment

Pamala was a little princess who had her daddy’s heart. She ran his bath water, set his tea to boil, saw favoritism directed her way. She was the center of his world. Sat quietly while he talked with the men seated around the table. She felt like her father was God himself who had come to earth to be her dad.

Her life was like a dream. She did not have a care in the world. Her father took care of most all her needs. He worked five days, went to school at night, preached and managed church on the weekends. He had a full life and the children enjoyed the bounty of being a preacher’s kid

Pamala went to church with her daddy every Sunday, watched him preach from the pew. He preached the word of God. His voice was so powerful he made the people say, Amen.

His sermon reached a crescendo and spread all the way throughout the church. Women shouted and fanned themselves; the deacons gave him a stand. The piano player banged on the keys and children closed their eyes because sleep had found them. Soon the church was swaying all the way to heaven. Pamala lived in a dream world.

Then something happened. A little baby girl came along and stole her daddy’s heart. At one year old Sonya came to sleep in sister’s room with Pamala and Denise. Baby girl captured dad with her coos, giggles, and laughs. Denise and Pamala did not know what to make of this little girl.

Pamala ran to the outside world to look for love and found it among friends and neighborhood boys. Boys that looked just like her dad. She wanted them to give her love, only it did not happen that way.

This teen aged girl engaged in sex as a substitute. She was addicted to pleasure. Soon was lost in ecstasy. Many years later, she found her way back from her sexual pursuits.

All the while, she was building a lofty state of life that could stand in the place of life falling away. Her feminine essence emerged as vast as the ocean that no man could touch. She found a new home and a way to be in her new found space. That secret place out reach from anyone. She was a black woman coming of age in American with its chauvinistic undertones.

Through the sex, anger, and fear emerged a woman who now stands on her own. She carved out a place through the pain, tears, and suffering. Nevertheless, like the ocean that contains all rivers, she has accepted her past. Knows it will always be a part of her, only the ocean is now her home.

She left behind an old life where men owned her body. They had her body but not her soul. She saved that special gift for herself. Fifty years later, she has grown into full womanhood.

STEP 4

A Seven Step Personal Transformation, Womanist Empowerment, Womanist Leadership

Step I Powerful Purposefulness:
There is Power in Purpose. Discover your purpose in life. It will direct your actions. Fleeting emotions and transient experiences will not consume you. Integrate the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of life and become a Powerful Presence in society.

THE EMOTIONAL BODY AND HOW TO GAIN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Seven Keys to Life

The Emotional Body

The part of life, I will explore during this talk is the emotional body. The sensitive aspect of life that filters experiences, perceptions, and memories.  It is like a reservoir of possibility mixing bits and pieces of experience coupled with emotions that trigger a response. It happens in an instant. Before you realize, a lifetime has happened and you wonder why you acted that way.

An experience happened to me one day; it colored my life a shade of gray. I could not discern what was good or what would harm me. This experience occurred at a time when I was very young. Too undeveloped to understand how to use my mind instead of letting other people’s words control me.

A young mind, that believed my parents loved and wanted what was best for me; a belief that they would never harm me. I held on to that story for such a long time and blamed myself if anything went wrong. It took all my strength to hold together a life. Fifty years later I uncovered my true self-buried under the difficulties of life.

The emotional baggage I held onto caused nothing but pain. Nonetheless, it was the engine that drove me on a journey to find happiness and inner peace. I striped my life bare then examined it, like looking under a microscope to discover the source of my suffering.

I found a big black hole that had swallowed parts of me and left a void. I tried to find love thinking it would heal my wounds. Only the relationships I entered in did not fulfill me. The hole grew so deep that it swallowed up my happiness. It was like trying to make life work that was doomed from the start.

Emotions control your thinking, behavior and the actions you take. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological one. They are the bridge between thoughts, feelings and actions.

There is a relationship between emotional wounds we try to hide and the pain felt in the body. Pain will speak to you if you only listen. It spoke to me as pain in my hip. An impasse, filled with tension that was taking a toll on my healthy. My responses happened so automatically I was like a machine processing data in a mechanical way. I had to change my life if I wanted to be healthy and happy.

Some of what I felt was hard-wired to my individual brain. The other part belonged to the collective brain. The collective brain which is made of all the people and stimulus that had been in my life to include my parents and ancestors and extended family.

To act mechanically was acceptable behavior about one thousand years ago when fear was so real, the environment posed an imminent danger, and humans did not have the technology or sophistication that we have today.

My belief is that society and the environment has changed and we as humans have not. The wiring in our brains is out of date. We have to retrain our brain to adapt to the new society we find ourselves in.

Society teaches us to suppress our emotions and feeling as if there is something wrong with saying how we feel. Society say do not express your feelings because they are inappropriate or if you were to be express them, you would be dangerous and out of control.

What I would like to suggest is that left to their own devise or neglected emotions will be out of your control and disguised in some negative or inapprioate way.

Emotions act as a warning to what is really going on. They are the most reliable indicators of how things are going in our lives. Which mean they may need some special attention as much as we pay to physically training our mind and body?

When something happens in our lives, there is a feeling associated with the experience, be it pleasant or unpleasant. Then the experience floods through your emotions. Emotions and feelings are often misunderstood.

I have found a greater truth in my search to find happiness and inner peace. It was hidden behind the emotions that I held onto. There is Power in Purpose and when you find your purpose, you will have found the truth of your life and you will know peace and happiness.

I have begun to build a life that matched what I had been growing inside my mind. I cannot control my emotions, but I can examine them from a distance and not identify with them. This way I can manage my behavior and plan a better response.

Finding Power in Purpose is an individual journey that you take. It will lead you on an internal journey through your Mind, Emotions and Spirit. 

The Womanist Empowerment Series will help you find your way. womanistempowermentseries.com