CH I Section II Disappointment
It was a Sunday morning like any other. I sat on a pew in church and listened as my father preached from the pew. He seemed so at home. As the pianist played, my father swayed back and forth, patting one hand in the other to the sound of the beat. I was proud to be his daughter. I dreamed of being just like him, standing from a platform and giving a speech and have the people say A-men.
After church my father told said, Pam you do not have to come to church any more. I did not think much of this. Most things I did not give a second thought. If it came from my father then it must be have been ok. I stood in the middle aisle of church looking down as my stomach that had begun to swell.
A few years later, my father married Gloria, his second wife. She and I had become good friends. One day Gloria told me my father was ashamed of me because I was pregnant and unmarried at seventeen.
I sat on the couch curled into a ball. I felt abandoned and alone, unloved and worthless and thought my mother did not care. I was alone. The air swept over me like a prickly blanket when my she walked out the door.
It was a Sunday morning like any other, the day we usually spend in church. The only difference being, I wanted to stay home and watch Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. I asked my mother if my little brother Anthony could stay with me. She said no. I thought I would be ok if I stayed home alone.
I stuffed my feeling deep inside. It was unbearable to think that my mother did not care. When she came back from church not a word did she say? Life went on as usual. I ran out to play.